Fear

No, not talking about the book (you know, “that” book).  A number of folks around here are flipping out about Hurricane Florence.  Legit — looks like a big storm which can do a lot of damage.  It got me thinking, however, about fear and its cousin, worry.  As I told one family member, it’s okay to fear something that you should fear, but worrying about something you can’t control just adds to the stress.  So, where in this does stage fright land?  Stage fright was something I never experienced early in my career.  I was young, I was confident in my abilities, and I felt more at home, more “myself” on stage than I did in real life.  But then I got older.  That super-confidence which 20-somethings have drained away and I found myself getting more and more afraid.  I blew auditions, I blanked lines in performances.  I tried to steer more towards film (mess it up, do another take!) but stage was where my heart was.  I spent a good part of my last few active years in the biz working to address the issue.  I’m not sure I ever found a real answer.  I tried to put my energy into what I could control — my focus, running lines, etc.  and “let go” of things I couldn’t control — what a casting director thought of me, how an audience reacts, but the nerves are still there.  I imagine myself to be an athlete.  I go out and play my best game and walk away knowing I have done the best I can.   I may be looking for an answer for something which has no answer, but I am open to any ideas folks have.  Fill out a contact me form if you have any thoughts.  Thanks.